ice cream cone life

When I had consumed enough free wine and pseudo-conversations had reached their climax, I walked myself right out of there.  

Hi, where are you from?  What are you studying?  Wow, that is really interesting.  Are you doing your Phd?  Oh, you're a professor, what's your name again?  Oh shit, you are a totally famous scientist.  I feel like an ass.  The best thing to calm your nerves after 3rd grade renditions of Hi, I'm Emily, will you be my friend is a slightly-less-than-sober stroll through the cool night air, camera in hand.  Everything is quiet and shadowed.  You can stop to observe the world around you, yet remain inconspicuous.  

Sometimes I relish the opportunity to throw myself amongst the crowd, and shine.  Proof of that is no less obvious than my purchase of The Stunna' Shoes.  I can don them an immediately transform into a superstar, ready to dazzle the world with my extroverted fabulosity.  Flying my freak flag high with unadulterated pride.  

But then, there are other times, too.  Times when I want nothing more than to be quiet.  My inner bookworm child takes over.  No doubt the part of myself that led me to become a scientist in the first place.  The bottled up nerd inside flourishes best when she can blend in to the shadows.  To observe and learn.  Thinking without having something clever to say.