When you have a partner in crime, it is really hard to look like a goof, or a loser, or a loner, or anything less than perfect. If its just you, you're crazy, if you are two, its a party. That other person is your own personal cheerleader, ready to catch you if you fall or even to fall with you. To be that person to talk to at a party when you can't for the life of you make anymore small-talk with anyone, to help you orchestrate a dinner gathering, to explore something that would otherwise seem trivial, or to eat lunch with you so that you don't sit alone. When you have someone that you can 100% depend on to be there at any moment, life is a lot less scary.
But say, right now that person is gone or away or say that you have never known that person. I challenge you to be vulnerable. Let your loser-ness show, be less than perfect and let the world see. Because, I can guarantee that there is someone else out there that feels exactly the same way as you. Someone waiting to be your friend. Your vulnerability will give them courage to open up as well.
So call that kind-of friend to go for a coffee, if you know someone whose partner is also gone, plan to make dinner together, go to lunch with work colleagues or just sit down at a random lunch table with someone you don't know. Plan to go for a run or exercise with someone you don't know very well. Having some sort of activity can make the process a lot easier.
As adults, it is a lot more difficult to make new friends than it is when you are a kid. Everyone is busy with their own lives, but also, everyone is just a lot more self-conscious. So, I challenge you to join me in being vulnerable, making a new friend, reconnect with old friends but most of all, be open and sincere with your less-than-perfectness, let your freak flag fly.
a great Ted Talk on this topic