What better way to shake off the winter blues and accumulated viruses than to sit by a pool in tropical sunshine sipping pineapple juice while reading a book?

I bought my flight to the US with miles which was financially convenient but otherwise not so.  I left Indiana yesterday afternoon and won't make it back home to Chile until tomorrow evening... a total of about 40 hours of travel.  Valdivia is far, but not that far.  I am just lucky to have some substantial layovers.  So, rather than spend a night sleeping on a bench in Tocumen International like some homeless guy, I decided to treat myself to a mini-vacation in Panama!  Thanks to the Riande Hotel which is just a few minutes from the airport I've been able to catch a bit of sun and R&R before I continue south.

If you ever find yourself with a long layover in Panama City I would really recommend this hotel.  I think its a bit more expensive than some of the other hotels in the city, but with the free Riande shuttle service rather than usual the 45min taxi into downtown you will end up saving time and money.

what's up?

Pablo's in Japan.  I'm holdin' down the fort, its been a very lentil-soupy sort of week.  Something about soup and shiny objects (like those pictured above) that seem so comforting when you are flyin' solo.  Its a strugglefest at times, being an independent woman while at the same time missing your best friend.  Should we feel guilty for indulging in one emotion or another.  I think not.  Bring on the fury, bring on the love, bring on the longing.  Bring on. Wonder. Woman.

Slightly distracted from my current topic of "Istanbul" if you hadn't noticed.  Perhaps its the heat getting to me.  Though, then again, perhaps not.  Perhaps, Istanbul is just the city for feeling mixed (and strong) emotions, craving lentils, and sparkly things....

Things to do always...

And thus ends our Solo Adventures mini series because I am headed to the Philippines to find Mi Amor!  I hope you enjoyed the "Things to do while he is not around" posts as much as I enjoyed making them.  I feel a bit embarrassed admitting this, but I think blogging about my mini-Adventures helped me to stay focused and engaged despite Pablo's absence.    People say "Distance makes the heart grow fonder" well, to be honest, I think that is a bunch of baloney.  Distance usually makes me irritable and feisty, but if one good thing does come from sporadic absence from loved ones, it is (in my opinion) the acknowledgement of your own purposeful independence.  So, after all of this, I am going to work harder to maintain and recognize this self-awareness even when he is around. 

I will be back in a week, hopefully well-rested, relaxed, bronzed, and maybe just a little bit hung-over!

foto above from Pablo // 1/4 PNG // 2/3 Philippines

Things to do when he is not around....

wander around, searching for something beautiful (aka go shopping)!

Right, so to be honest, I am not much of a shopper.  For one, I am extremely stingy (as any good Midwesterner is) and for another, I try to limit the amount of crap that I accumulate and the destruction that I reek upon the Earth.  Thank goodness for this, though, because it is pretty hard to just go on a spontaneous shopping spree in Saudi Arabia.  Women are not allowed to drive here, so, if I want to go anywhere, I must either find a male friend to chauffeur me around, or I have to rent a driver.  Not very cost effective and not very convenient either.  Luckily, though, there are several buses each week from my university town to various locations within Jeddah including the hospital (not really a place I am keen on spending an afternoon) and the mall.  So, the other day when I was feeling extremely stir-crazy, I hopped on the bus and headed to Mall of Arabia.  

The thing about shopping that I do find so enjoyable, is just the hapless wandering around.  I think this is most fun in the winding streets of Europe or at some outdoor bazar, just walking around from shop to shop, admiring the pretty things and trying to find something really special or unique.  And, I am of the suspicion that this is where men sometimes get frustrated (hence why this post is included in this series).    When a man is going to buy something, he is on a mission.  Get in, get out and be done with it.  But I think that that defeats the whole purpose of shopping which is the quest or the slow refinement of personal style or might I even say, goods appreciation?  Something like art appreciation?  You don't just go to an art gallery and race around, find the one you like and hit the road?  You have to concentrate and relax and just let you mind fantasize a bit.

So, my fellow ladies, I hope you too can find some time to just wander around and see what treasures the world has to offer.

Things to do when he is not around...

Cook up something delicious, nutritious, and easy!

My plague has passed, hamdulilah, and now my kitchen is back in business.  No more leftover soup, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, or whatever-else-is-left-in-the-fridge.  Instead, something fresh and veggie-fied.  Just how I like it.

When you are solita, it is easy to subsist on sandwiches and second-thought-meals, but I always feel so much better when I cook up something intentional, even if it is basic, like a stir-fry or a curry.  I think food doesn't have to be difficult to be tasty or nourishing, it just has to be a priority, no matter if you are cooking for 1 or for 10.

Things to do when he is not around...

Listen to the news while cooking dinner.

So, I know that an online blurb doesn't really mean much, but a lot of folks back home have been asking if I've heard about what happened in Boston.  And yes, the horrific event that occurred there is all over the international news.  I heard from Pablo and colleagues in PNG that news coverage of the marathon bombing was all that was on TV even in Papua.  So yes, we have heard, and yes it is atrocious and my heart goes out to all of the victims.  

While cooking myself dinner tonight, and listening to NPR, I heard a lot about what the White House has to say (or not to say) about the bombing and about what people in Boston have to say and I even learned about the history of the Boston Marathon, but I didn't hear any responses from any non-Americans.  After talking to friends here, the response on my side of the world seems to be "Please don't let that sick bastard be from my country.  Please don't let him be of my religion."  Because if he is, how much will everyone else have to pay for his misdeeds? 

Things to do when he is not around....

read a good book!

A couple of days ago I came down with the Plague of 2013, so the adventures I am currently partaking in include finishing off that massive pot of lentil soup that I made a week ago and not straying too far from my bed.  One of the many great joys of living in Saudi Arabia includes building relationships with lots of harmful bacteria and viruses.  With over 15 million people traipsing to Mecca every year and the fact that my often-traveling colleagues, neighbors, dentist, and local restauranteur get to brush shoulders and sweaty hands with these pilgrims, leads to rapid spread of the flu.  This paired with my wonderfully non-existent immune system means I get sick a. lot.  I am joyous though.  One day, when I finally move away from Saudi Arabia, I will leave triumphantly, with antibodies for my antibodies' antibodies. I will be unstoppable.  Or at least, maybe, unsickable...

Anyways, though, I highly encourage all bloggers (especially) and normal people too to read Julie & Julia.  I saw the movie a few years ago and thought it was cute but when one of my friends gave me the book and I found myself with hours of solitary downtime, I started reading and I was astounded.  It is hilarious and raunchy and at times completely nonsensical.  It is great.

Things to do when he is not around....

delve into a bit of science!

There is nothing hotter than a labcoat and goggles, is there?  The other day University Communications came around to take photos of "Real Scientists" doing "Real Science" for some brochure or something that they are making for the board of trustees.  The "Real Scientists" doing "Real Science" turned out to be a bunch of us having our work interrupted so that photos of us could be taken as we oooh sooo slowly opened tubes and inserted small volumes of liquid into said tubes (the transfer of small volumes of liquid from one even smaller vessel to another constitutes the majority of my days' work).  I got some pretty sweet photos, though, of me in all of my Sponge Glory fastidiously slaving away.

As it is Saturday, though, we should all (in my opinion) enjoy a bit of science.  Science is everywhere and everything these days, so take a moment (or 45 if your lover is out of town) to soak it up.

particularly terrifying, Bringing back the Extinct
Diamond v. Chakrabarty, since we're on the topic of GMOs
Viral Genes in Food, maybe not a good idea
pollution in China, poor pigs
speaking of China, fake eggs and recycled buns
Zombie Alert!! see-through brains!
GM mosquitos to fight Dengue
my current project

Things to do when he is not around...

be vulnerable.

When you have a partner in crime, it is really hard to look like a goof, or a loser, or a loner, or anything less than perfect.  If its just you, you're crazy, if you are two, its a party.  That other person is your own personal cheerleader, ready to catch you if you fall or even to fall with you.  To be that person to talk to at a party when you can't for the life of you make anymore small-talk with anyone, to help you orchestrate a dinner gathering, to explore something that would otherwise seem trivial, or to eat lunch with you so that you don't sit alone.  When you have someone that you can 100% depend on to be there at any moment, life is a lot less scary.

But say, right now that person is gone or away or say that you have never known that person.  I challenge you to be vulnerable.  Let your loser-ness show, be less than perfect and let the world see.  Because, I can guarantee that there is someone else out there that feels exactly the same way as you.  Someone waiting to be your friend.  Your vulnerability will give them courage to open up as well.

So call that kind-of friend to go for a coffee, if you know someone whose partner is also gone, plan to make dinner together, go to lunch with work colleagues or just sit down at a random lunch table with someone you don't know.  Plan to go for a run or exercise with someone you don't know very well.  Having some sort of activity can make the process a lot easier.  

As adults, it is a lot more difficult to make new friends than it is when you are a kid.  Everyone is busy with their own lives, but also, everyone is just a lot more self-conscious.  So, I challenge you to join me in being vulnerable, making a new friend, reconnect with old friends but most of all, be open and sincere with your less-than-perfectness, let your freak flag fly.

a great Ted Talk on this topic

Things to do when he is not around...

Hang out with a girlfriend and entertain her child while Mom does one of the millions of things she never has enough time to do!

I am constantly amazed by the women around me.  These ladies have so much going on.  They have graduate school to study for, husbands to cook for, children to take care of and they do all of this and are still fun to be around.  I spent the other night with my friend and her one-year old daughter who is just the cutest thing ever.  She is crazy!  One minute crawling, the next minute up walking, grabbing for the iphone (which she has such an interest in) and then she is falling over, face-planting and then back up again.  Insane amounts of energy.  Are all one-year olds like this?

If you have a friend who is a Mom, go hang out with her and her kids one evening.  You will no doubt gain a greater appreciation for your friend and if her kid is as crazy as this one, you will have a lot of fun but you will go home thankful for some solitude.

Things to do when he is not around...

Watch TV that he doesn't like!

to sound like a total cliché of myself.  O.M.G.  If you are a 20-something, suffering from the female condition, you should absolutely see this show (Grandma and Grandpa, you should probably not, you will be mortified).   GIRLS is, in my opinion, Uh-Mazing.  I was pretty bummed out to discover last week that there is so far only one season available on itunes.  I thought that this show, like so many other things in pop culture, was something I am far behind on (thanks Saudi Arabia) but it turns out, I'm not! I am very un-patiently waiting for season 2.

but, this show is so great.  while I don't live in New York and I'm not unemployed (in fact, I moved to freakin' Saudi Arabia for a pretty sweet job right after I graduated from college) I feel like this show is The Story of My Life. I, like the characters on GIRLS, am an early 20s educated woman-girl who has done some really stupid stuff in her not so long life (I know parents you are cringing right now).  but, it is so great to know that there are others like me out there, that maybe we have all been there, young and dumb, and just trying to figure out how to be an adult... 

....and we even have our own TV show! 

Things to do when he is not around....

Eat the last piece of pie. all. by. yourself!  You don't gots to share, not even a single bite!  

So, I know it is not even remotely pumpkin pie season, but I had some leftover crust after making a tomato pie for a potluck (I totally recommend this recipe) and I had a can of pumpkin just waiting to be used.  And He doesn't really know that pumpkin pie is a Fall-time food because well, He has never really experienced Fall, so I made him a pumpkin pie.  And then he left.  So, I got to finish it!  Does anyone else like to eat the pie filling first and then eat the crust after, or is that just a weird thing that only I do?

I've decided to devote the next few posts to a mini-series that I call, "Things to do when he is not around..." Whether you've just experienced a break-up, or your husband is deployed to fight a war, or he travels for his work, or you find yourself a widow after 75 years of marriage, or your boyfriend is going to night school, I am of the opinion that it is best to look on the bright side.  Congratulations, you are your own best company!  Furthermore, I think that you can still love someone and miss them with your whole heart even if you are enjoying your space.  I'm a firm believer that we all have to be complete individuals on our own before we can really share ourselves with someone else.  I miss Pablo a lot right now and can't wait for his return, but I am also enjoying the little solo adventures that I am embarking on in his absence.